What are your non-negotiables?

I have realized that there are things that I must do every day in order to manage my stress levels.  I consider these things my non-negotiables. No matter what all is going on, I make sure to schedule these activities into my day. The most important one for me is to take a hot bath at the end of the day. This is my time to relax, to let go of the stresses of the day, and to begin to wind down before bedtime. There is just something so great about the warm water that helps my physical body to begin to relax. And since there isn’t really a lot you can do while you are taking a bath (I am too clumsy to risk dropping my book, kindle, or phone into the water) my mind is able to relax as well. Additionally, because I do this consistently every night before bed, my brain knows that sleep comes next. I have literally trained my brain to know that bath means sleep, so that after about 10 minutes in the bathtub, I can barely keep my eyes open.

Baths may not be enjoyable for you so some other warm water options are to jump in the hot tub, if you have one, or take a hot shower. But even more important, is to be aware of what activities, rituals, or actions work for you. What is it you do that consistently helps you to relax, calm down, and manage the overwhelm? Take a walk, listen to music, chat with a friend? Once you figure this out, do that thing(s) everyday, without fail. Make it a nonnegotiable activity, like brushing your teeth. The point is to prioritize your mental calm and well-being so that when things get crazy, you are ready!

Please feel free to contact me with any questions, comments, or concerns and let me know what your non-negotiables are. I would love to hear from you!

Take a break!

For this week’s tip, I would like to encourage you to take regular breaks from work.

Have you ever noticed that when you have a lot to do, you tend to get so focused on finishing the task at all costs that you forget to take a break? You may even forget to eat or go to the bathroom. And while I have never forgotten to eat, I end up grabbing the quickest thing I can find (which is rarely healthy) and munch while I am working so that I never have to stop. Inevitably though, I begin to get tired. And because I keep pressing on, I eventually get exhausted and then my work starts to suffer, especially if what I am working on requires intelligent thought. So even though you may feel like you don’t have time to take a break, if we work until the point of mental fatigue, we just cannot be as effective.

So plan to take regular, short breaks from your task or to do list. These breaks only need to be a minute or so, but plan to take a mini-break at least every 60-90 minutes. This would be a good time to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths or go to the bathroom! Other ideas are to stand up and stretch, take a short walk around the office, or chat with a friend. This can involve any activity that allows your brain to disconnect from whatever you are currently working on.

Therefore, your action item for today is to set a timer for every 60-90 minutes and plan to take at least a  1 minute break every time it goes off. Notice if your mindset, stress level, and work quality improve!

Sometimes you just have to set aside your ego and ask for help!

This week let’s talk about asking for help. I know that even when I am super busy, it seems easier to just do everything myself. That way I know it will get done to my standards. It also seems like such a hassle to teach someone to do something when I can do it faster on my own and I don’t like to impose on anyone. Can you relate? But there comes a time when you have so much on your plate that doing it all yourself just no longer makes sense. In those cases, you either have to let something go (which is not usually an option), realize that something is going to be late (definitely not preferable), or ask for help.

I realize that asking for help can be vulnerable. You actually have to admit to yourself and to someone else that you are not wonder woman (or insert your favorite superhero here). But when your plate is stacked so high that you can’t see any break in sight, it is time to call in the support team. Look at your list of things to do and decide what has to be done by you and what can be done by someone else. To make this easier, have a trusted friend, family member, or coworker on standby. Talk to them ahead of time, when you are not in the middle of complete overwhelm mode, and ask them if they are willing to help you out when things get crazy. This way you won’t feel quite so bad about asking them to help out at a moment’s notice.

And if I may be a little bit corny here, if you look at your to do list and it really is filled with things that absolutely cannot be handed off to someone else, go to that trusted friend or family member (this is probably not appropriate for your coworker!) and ask for a hug. There is something really great about knowing that even though you are swamped, there is someone who cares about you no matter how much you get done. For me this works every time!

Begin a daily gratitude practice.

I often find myself dwelling on everything that is going wrong in my life, especially when I am overwhelmed. In these times, I find it really hard to look for the good in my life and to be grateful for all that I have. I would therefore like to encourage you to develop a gratitude practice. There are many ways to do this (just google “gratitude practice” for other ideas), but my favorite is to keep a gratitude journal. Every night before going to sleep write down three things from the day that you are grateful for. For example, today I am grateful for an awesome yoga class, my sweet cats that love to snuggle, and cheese! This doesn’t have to be some deep, spiritual type journal (unless that makes you happy). It is simply a way to ensure we are regularly recognizing how many good things we really do have in our lives. I think the quote below sums this up nicely.

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” Marianne Williamson