What are you yearning for?

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist 

I have not always been obsessed with all things health and exercise related. Apparently, when I was quite young, I told my parents that I didn’t like going to tennis camp because I didn’t like to get sweaty! You can imagine how surprised they were that I eventually took up running in high school which led to collegiate running, many marathons, yoga, and rock climbing. I started to run because I was inspired by my younger sister who is a natural athlete. If I am really honest though, I didn’t really love running at first. It was hard and sweaty, especially in the Georgia summers! But as a weight obsessed and horribly self-conscious teenager, it did allow me to regularly eat delicious, Mexican food. Eventually though, running became a part of me and also set me on this journey towards outrageously, vibrant health. What started out as a desire to eat junk food without gaining a ton of weight, has morphed into a yearning to feel truly alive and whole within my body.

This path, this journey, has not always been easy. I spent years suffering from depression, anxiety, and medical problems that could “only be solved by yearly surgery”. But my experiences in running, yoga, and eventually Ayurveda suggested that there was another way. And so I did something radical, I decided to put myself and my health first. I followed what my Ayurveda practitioners recommended, I took time for myself, I meditated, I practiced yoga, I listened to my body, and I spent time with my sweet, always supportive husband. And I began to heal. And then I began to want more; more energy, more body acceptance, more joy.  I also realized that my body already knew how to reach the desired end point of my journey towards outrageously, vibrant health. I just didn’t (and still don’t) always listen to her. Currently, she is yearning for more time spent in meditation and in a community of like-minded women and also much less caffeine! But many days I self-sabotage and drink my (way too sweet!) caffeinated tea instead of sitting on my meditation cushion. So I am also practicing being gentle with myself, celebrating the successes, and working on the next small step towards my best self. I have not reached the end point of my journey yet, and I think maybe that is the best part. There is still so much for me to learn and discover about myself and that is so exciting to me!

Looking back, I have to credit running with putting this whole journey in motion. The friends I have made over the many miles run together, the problems solved, and the stress released, has been a true gift. And while I could never catch her, I am eternally grateful to my sister for inspiring me to take that first step, for the training runs we shared, and for the races we ran together (And by run together, I mean that we started the race at the same time and she waited for me at the finish line!).

What is your journey? What are you yearning for in your life?

And on a purely superficial note, I am also super inspired to finally nail eka pada rajakapotasana I. Follow me on Instagram (@bethmarek) for progress on this fun side journey!