Resistance

I am currently leading a small group of lovely women through my 10 week course, Essential Self-Care, which is designed to help each of them develop better self-care practices so that they sleep better, eat better, have more energy, and feel better throughout their day. Every time that I teach this course, I also hold myself accountable to do the good habits that the members are working on. It is always so interesting to me to really notice where my self-care is spot on and where it is not. Some habits come so easily and others, well… let’s just say they don’t come as easily.

This time around, I am specifically working with how I respond to resistance. It is really easy to get excited and motivated to make a change that you know will help you feel amazing only to backslide once the motivation wears off. This is particularly true when you are developing new healthy habits, and how you respond to the resistance and backsliding determines whether you will break through or go back to your old ways. The thing is, it is really hard to be motivated all the time. So whenever we are developing new healthy habits or even maintaining old ones, we should expect to encounter resistance. But what most people don’t realize is that resistance isn’t personal, everyone experiences it. In other words, you are not your resistance and therefore your resistance does not have to call the shots.

For example, I love to run and I especially love to run early in the morning just before dawn, while it is still dark. This time of day is so magical; there is a quietness and clarity present during pre-dawn hours that is so lovely. But every morning when my alarm goes off at 5AM, my old friend resistance pops up and says, “You should really stay in bed, you are tired and need more sleep.” There have been many mornings over the years when I gave in to the resistance, rolled over, and went back to sleep. And then every morning that I gave in to the resistance, it got a little stronger and I got a little weaker and before I knew it, I was backsliding into inactivity and laziness. So this time around, I decided that I wasn’t going to rely on motivation to overcome the resistance to getting out of bed. 

I am therefore meeting the resistance head on. Each morning that my alarm goes off at 5AM, I take a moment to recognize that I am feeling resistance to getting up for a run, I remind myself that the resistance I am feeling is not personal, it is not me, and then I really consider how I am feeling. Most of the time, I have gone to bed early, slept really well, and woken up feeling great. My resistance is therefore a liar. Recognizing that the resistance I am feeling isn’t personal and may not even be true has made it so much easier for me to let it go, get up, and get going. Additionally, I am no longer beating myself up for wanting to stay in bed because that is the resistance talking, not me. And once I actually do get up, I am thrilled to be outside enjoying the morning.

The next time that you feel resistance arise, first acknowledge it and really listen to what it is saying. Then, remind yourself that resistance isn’t personal, everyone experiences it, and it is often a liar. Remember, resistance will tell you all kinds of untruths to get its way. But once you know the game that resistance likes to play and can see it for what it really is, then you can more easily ignore it and get on with living the life that makes you feel amazing!